


The Problem of Caring

by immortalje



Series: Prompt Challenges [77]
Category: Torchwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:16:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalje/pseuds/immortalje
Summary: Jack contemplates the problem of caring if you outlive people
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Ninth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Series: Prompt Challenges [77]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2047814
Kudos: 1





	The Problem of Caring

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. This was written for [10prompts](http://www.insanejournal.com/users/10prompts/). The prompt was Caring. ([Table](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/love_sacrificed/1193.html))  
> 2\. This was written back in 2013 or earlier and I finally got around to posting it.

He was fully aware that his team thought he didn’t care about them – or about anyone at all. However, the truth was that he cared too much. Every single person he had lost over the years, at Torchwood or otherwise, had hurt. It didn’t even matter if they had had a long life or not, if they died peacefully, fell victim to crime or ended up in the way of the wrong alien.

The problem was that if he let himself get too close, he’d break. So he hid his caring side and dealt with the grief on his own, when nobody was around to watch. He was expected to lead them and to be strong for them. Showing them that he felt so deeply would take that strength away from them. Not that they realised that. They wanted him to be strong for them, the fearless leader, but complained when he didn’t openly care. He wished he could give them both, but he couldn’t do it without breaking himself.

It was especially difficult to convey how much he cared to Ianto. He had been burned by the Doctor abandoning him and was afraid to commit to something long term again. At the same time, he knew that Ianto would be able to heal him and take care of his heart. He knew he could – and should – risk it.

However, keeping his emotions hidden for so long made it difficult to show them. Rarely showing them gave Ianto the wrong impression which in turn led to things and events that hurt them both and the cycle would start all over again.

Maybe the solution to the problem was asking Ianto for help in re-learning how to show his emotions. It didn’t matter to him how often people doubted his ability to care, he knew the truth, but maybe it was better to show it on occasion to special people like Ianto.

Really, as a minimum, he should learn to show it more often than he did now. It could only be advantageous in the long run.


End file.
